Contents

Engagement and Selecting the Ring
Diamond Alternatives - Colored Gemstones
Diamond Alternatives - CZs and Cultured Diamonds
Organizing the Wedding
Budgeting and Finances
The First Things You Should Do
Choosing the Photographer
Finding the Perfect Bridal Gown
Obtaining Necessary Documents
Planning for the Reception
Choosing Wedding Attendants
Selecting the Music: Musicians, Live Band, or DJ
Selecting the Videographer
Selecting the Florist
Register for Shower and Wedding Gifts
Ordering Invitations and Wedding Stationary
Wedding Gifts for Wedding Party
Choosing Party Favors
Wedding Day Itinerary
Finishing Up After the Wedding

Engagement and Selecting the Ring

Do you dream of how it will happen? How will your man propose to you? Will he be down on one knee, suddenly and unexpectantly proposing lifelong love and happiness for the two of you together forever, pulling the perfect ring from his pocket, tears in his eyes as he asks you to be his bride and spend eternity with him. . . .

Back to reality. And the reality is that for most of us this romantic, fairy tale proposal simply isn't going to happen. To our sisters for whom it does, well, we laugh and thumb our nose knowing at least we get to go along and help choose the ring. Hehe!

But seriously, things are different these days. Today's modern, independent bride-to-be is often personally involved in the decision making process. Choosing a ring together may not seem quite as romantic but it can be great fun and a great way to begin the marriage.

Many resources are available to help you with your purchase. The book How to Buy a Diamond: Insider Secrets for Getting Your Money's Worth by Fred Cuellar would make an excellent choice. If you buy only one book let this be the one. It is currently priced at $11.87 at Amazon and can save you thousands. You will learn all you need to know to keep from paying too much for your diamond.

Another book With This Ring : The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Jewelry makes excellent reading as well. This full-color book has many pages of pictures of celebrity engagement rings and explanations of the history of wedding rings. One thing this book does not do is go into great depth with regards to what to look for to make a good purchase.

Diamond Alternatives - Colored Gemstones

What if you can't afford or don't want a traditional diamond?

For some it is not a matter of money, but of principle. You may refuse to buy a diamond because of the human rights problems associated with African diamond mines or because you choose not to support the DeBeers diamond cartel.

You do have other options. You may want to insist on buying a diamond from a Canadian mine or you could choose to forgo a diamond altogether and select a colored gemstone or a "diamond alternative".

Colored gemstone engagement rings are a fashionable option which have long been popular in Europe. Princess Diana and Sarah Ferguson both received colored gemstone engagement rings. This popularity has crossed the Atlantic and colored gemstone engagement rings are now the strongest new trend in bridal jewelry in America. A growing number of famous women today -- including Ivana Trump, Kirstie Alley, Jane Fonda, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Lopez -- have chosen to wear rings featuring colored gemstones instead of diamonds.

Many people attribute supernatural powers to the gemstones. You may want to choose a stone which symbolizes a part of your unique relationship. The summary below is a partial list of meanings:

• Sapphire: honesty and sincerity
• Tourmaline: electricity
• Ruby: passion
• Aquamarine: marital harmony
• Emerald: love and fertility
• Opal: truth and hope
• Amethyst: piety and dignity
• Aquamarine: courage and strength
• Citrine: Cheerfulness and clear thought
• Garnet: loyalty, energy, and sincerity
• Onyx: independence between lovers
• Peridot: friendship
• Tanzanite: inspiration and marital bliss
• Topaz: love and fidelity

You may want to research this further. Several books are available. Gem Magic: Crystals and Gemstones for Love, Luck, and Power and Gemstones: Symbols of Beauty and Power are both excellent choices.

Diamond Alternatives - CZs and Cultured Diamonds

Diamond alternatives are options you may also want to consider. If you are not particular about your stone being a diamond and you can't see the difference, maybe you shouldn't spend the extra money. You could instead take a more elaborate honeymoon, save for your first home, or any number of other items.

The article Diamond, Cultured Diamond, and Cubic Zirconia Comparison is a must-read for anyone considering an alternative. This article explains the differences, or lack thereof, between the three types of stones.

Celebrity inspired CZ jewelry replicas set in sterling silver or 14K white or yellow gold can be found at Emitations. Rings above size 10 and 8" bracelets are available in their Plus Size section. Smaller size rings can be purchased and sized at your local jeweler. See more CZ jewelry distributors HERE.

Organizing the Wedding

Planning an elaborate wedding is a huge undertaking. One of the first things you should do, and one thing you will never regret, is to invest in some sort of an organizational tool. Which tool you choose depends entirely on your own personal style. Either of the two reviewed below would make an excellent choice. There are many others available as well.

The Creative Wedding Organizer and Planner. This organizer is 102 pages. It is ring-bound so all pages open and lay flat. It can also be customized to suit your needs. This book is an invaluable book which will serve you well throughout the planning of your wedding as an organizer and resource book. BONUS: Because this organizer is made to hold all the details of your wedding it is sure to become a wonderful keepsake book. Order Now

If you prefer a computerized organizer The Master Wedding Planning Guide is available online for download. This guide is HUGE and includes help with: Budgeting and money saving tips. Slash your wedding costs by 40%. Checklists to make sure you get everything done which must be done. Lists of KEY QUESTIONS you MUST ask when hiring photographer, florist, caterer, etc. Roles and responsibilities of wedding party members. Wedding etiquette. And MUCH MORE. Best of all it comes with a 100% guarantee. Return within 90 days for a full refund if you don't like what you receive. Order Now

Budgeting

You can't splurge on everything, but set priorities and treat yourself to at least one special item to make your big day the best. Maybe it is the limo ride or the best fresh flowers you can find. You decide. Then budget the rest of the wedding around whatever you choose to be the priority.

Every couple can have an exquisite wedding on almost any budget. It's all a matter of planning.

First Things First

Three things you will need to do immediately are to find a photographer and choice of sites for your wedding ceremony and wedding reception. Contact the appropriate person for each service and reserve the date of your wedding. Both of these need to be booked as soon as possible to guarantee they will be available on the date of your wedding.

Keep notes, in your wedding organizer of your observations when visiting different wedding and or reception sites. Ask whether the price quoted is all inclusive, or will there be additional charges such as gratuities, overtime fees, and sales tax. Be sure to get all details in writing.

Choosing a Photographer

This is a very big day in your life. Photos of the wedding will be a cherished momento for the rest of your life as well as treasured history for your children and grandchildren. Choosing a reliable photographer is extremely important. This is one part of your wedding which should be completely trusted only to a professional.

There is often an ameteur photographer in the family anxious to sharpen their skills who will offer to photograph your wedding. Don't discourage them. If they are willing, allow them to photograph the ceremony, but don't cancel the professional. There are two reasons for this. First, they will be taking photos of the same poses as the professional. If their photos turn out well you have a good cheap source for the many family reprints needed. Second, even professional photographers have bad days or days when their equipment doesn't work like it should. It never hurts to have a backup plan in place.

When choosing a photographer it is important to ask the following questions:

• What packages are offered and what is included in each?
• Will the proofs be yours to keep?
• Is there a set number of reprints you must order?
• What is the cost for additional time or photos?
• How much is the deposit and when is it due?
• When is the balance due?
• Is there a travel charge?
• Will the negatives be available for purchase?

Every photographer has their own unique style. Be sure to ask for a sample of their work to see if you like what you see.

Finding the Perfect Bridal Gown

Searching for the perfect wedding gown is both an enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of hard work at the same time. To make your search easier it is best to have some idea of what you like before you begin your search. Wedding magazines have lots of pictures and are a good place to begin.

Local bridal shops do not always carry much selection in larger, plus size dresses, but you will be able to find plenty of options online. See Plus Size World Bridal for more detail.

Choosing a wedding gown is a very personal experience. Almost anything is acceptable, so do it your way. Keep in mind the type of wedding you are planning to have and the location as well as, of course, budget and your own personal comfort in the gown.

Obtaining Necessary Documents

Certain documents will be needed for applying for your marriage license as well as for honeymoon travel. These documents can take time to receive so it is best to plan ahead.

Most states require a birth certificate as proof of age and identity before issuing a marriage license. To obtain a certified copy of your birth certificate contact the bureau of vital statistics agency in the state, county or parish in which you were born. If you have trouble obtaining this information on your own contact a company, such as USA Trace, where experts can help you in obtaining this type of information.

Travel into Canada or Mexico requires only a drivers license and birth certificate to enter. If you will be traveling outside the United States to any other country you will need a passport and possibly a visa. Check with the U.S. Department of State or your travel agent for travel requirements to the country of your destination.

Planning for the Reception

Decide whether to use a caterer, a hotel, a restaurant, or fix your own food for the reception. This decision is as much a matter of choice as cost. While finding a way to do this part of the wedding yourself is a great money saver, it is very difficult to do all that is required to host a successful party and still enjoy being part of the party itself at the same time. Friends and family could help with hosting of the reception but may prefer to be guests instead of volunteer workers.

If you decide to use a caterer there are still ways in which you can cut costs. You can save money by serving a sit-down luncheon instead of a fancy dinner and also by ordering food which is in season and easy to obtain. You may also want to ask the caterer if you're allowed to bring some of your own entrees, condiments or desserts to help cut costs.

A professional caterer will be able to help you plan everything about your party including your menu and budget, as well as being able to supply most all your party needs including table covering, dishes, silver, ice, music, servers and cleanup staff. A professional caterer has the experience necessary to help you plan a successful party.

When you are searching for a wedding caterer be sure to consider the following:

• Where are they located?
• How will the food be prepared? Will fresh ingredients be used? or frozen?
• How will the food be transported?
• Are additional cooking facilities needed at the reception site?
• Are their charges calculated per person or per plate or otherwise?
• Are tips included in the fees?
• Who keeps the leftovers?
• How much deposit must be paid?
• When is the balance due?
• Will they be providing the serving staff?
• Are they liscenced by the state (if required)?
• Will they be providing any additional table decorations?

Make sure you tell the caterer how many guests you will be expecting as well as date, time and place for the party. Each of these details as well as answers to questions from the list above should be included in the contract you sign. If there is any significant change, you can get back to them before final preparations are made.

Selecting Wedding Attendants

Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, Best Man, Groomsmen and Ushers are chosen by the bride and groom as an honor to help the wedding couple celebrate their big day. If you would like more information here is a great article about the etiquette of choosing wedding attendants.

Selecting the Music: Musicians, Live Band, or DJ

Music sets the tone for your special day and should, therefore, be chosen carefully. It is likely that you will need to select a different set of performers for the wedding than for the reception. Live bands will often have audition tapes. Be sure to ask. If a tape is not available ask where they are performing next and you may be able to attend a performance.

Selecting the Videographer

When interviewing and choosing a videographer it is important to ask the following questions:

• Ask to see samples of their work. Look for good sound quality and picture clarity. Pay particular importance to the quality of the editing.
• In which formats will the video be available? (VHS, 8mm, Hi8, SVHS - these are in order of lowest quality to highest.)
• Will the video be shot at the highest available speed? (You should insist that it should be.)
• Will the videographer provide additional lighting, or does he rely on available light?
• What are the charges for extra time or extra tape?
• Will the videographer have available back-up equipment in the event difficulties are encountered?
• Can a photographic /videographic collage be provided?
• Is a choice of background music, where appropriate, available?
• Are title screens provided?
• How many cameras will be covering the events?
• Has the videographer had experience in conducting interviews? (He or she will be interviewing your guests.)

Selecting the Florist

Flowers are a big expense. It is not uncommon for people to spend a $1000 on flowers for their wedding.

Many couples have chosen to make their own silk bouquets. This can be a huge money saver. If you are crafty and think this is something you would like to try an excellent book to show you the way is The Knot Book of Wedding Flowers. This book includes over 150 full-color illustrations and clearly written do-it-yourself instructions.

How should you choose which flowers to use? You could choose to match the style of your wedding. Some flower, for example roses, seem to give a more old-fashioned touch to the ceremony. A consultant with a professional florist can help you decide which flowers would be a good match.

Over the years different types of flowers have developed specific symbolic meanings. You could choose flowers based on their symbolic meaning. This list of flowers and their meaning may give you an idea of which flowers you would like to use.

And if you still can't decide, go with whatever pleases you personally based on sight or smell.

FUN TIP: Instead of traditional Baby's Breath ask the florist to use baby spider plants in your bouquet as filler between flowers. These tiny spider plants can later be planted and kept as a nice reminder of your wedding.

Registering For Shower & Wedding Gifts

Creating gift registers makes gift giving easy for you as well as for your friends and family. Friends and family appreciate being able to purchase something they know you need and will use. For you it helps guarantee you won't be receiving duplicate gifts which will need to be returned. Many bridal registries can be established and administered online including these.

For many couples, marrying later in life means homes have already been established. There is often, in fact, two complete seperate homes - one for the bride and one for the groom - which are being combined. These well established couples already have duplicates of most items and hardly need traditional houseware gifts necessary for setting up a home.

An excellent alternative for these couples is available at www.honeyluna.com, an online honeymoon registry service. The great thing about HoneyLuna is that it allows you to seperate your honeymoon trip into small pieces which are made available for purchase. Then instead of someone simply making a cash donation, which many feel to be of poor taste, they can purchase a "Romantic dinner for two in Athens at a restaurant of their choice." or "A day of sightseeing." Information and sample registries are available. HoneyLuna has a new free registry with limited options which you administer on your own or their standard full service registry.

Choosing Invitations & Wedding Stationary

There are many different type of wedding invitations available. If you want to cut out the middle man and get a bargain, shop online. You can ask for samples for most invitations. There are also some great do-it-yourself kits available for making invitations and thank you notes on your home computer.

One of our favorite places for online wedding invitations is American Stationery. They are the manufacturer, not the reseller. Because of this they can keep their prices low. They have hundreds of invitations from which to choose and have been in business since 1919 with an excellent reputation.

Wedding Gifts For Wedding Party

It is customary and considered proper ettiquette to give a small gift to those who have help with or been a part of your wedding. You may want to include parents or others who have been particularly supportive as well. Some bride and grooms also choose to give each other a wedding gift.

Selecting Party Favors

Wedding favors are intended to be small momentos given to your wedding guests as a keepsake and reminder of your wedding day. They are a symbol of gratitude and affection and a way of saying “thank you” to your guests for being a part of your wedding celebration. When favors are chosen to match a theme they also may serve to add a decorative touch to the reception or entrance hall.

The options available for favors is limited only by your imagination. If you are a crafty type person who enjoys the creative process and also has the time to spare a lot of money can be saved by making your own favors. Amazon carries many books about this subject, at least one of which should get you started.

For those who are a bit less artistically inclined there is MyWeddingFavors.com or HansonEllis. Each place has hundreds of items available at excellent prices. My favorites are these Heart Measuring Spoons are unique, make a popular bridal shower gift or favor and only $2.49 each. Similar and an item I also like a lot is the Wedding Heart Coffee Scoop.

Plan Your Wedding Day Itinerary

Create a list of anything which will need done on the big day. Having a list will help you feel organized and at peace knowing nothing is being forgotten. If you have purchased one of the wedding organizer recommended earlier the organizer will have a place for a list.

After the Wedding

With months of planning behind you, it is finally all over. Now what? Take your honeymoon or at least a few days to relax. You deserve it! But don't wait too long to write those thank you notes. Most wedding ettiquette experts recommend no more than about two weeks.

If you are taking your husband's name or hyphenating your own there is a long list of people and organizations who you will need to notify. You will need a copy of your marriage license before you can begin. It will be around a month before you recieve your license in the mail. You will then need to notify the Social Security Administration, Department of Motor Vehicles, Financial Institutions such as your bank and credit card companies, utilities, phone company, doctor, dentist, accountants, news and magazine subscriptions, and passport. If you need help with this the Name Change Kit will lead you each step of the way. HINT: Ask for this in your wedding gift registry.

To keep your wedding dress looking its best for future generations it is important to have it cleaned well as soon as you can. The sooner the better before stains have a chance to set. When done properly your gown will look like new 30 years from now when your daughter may want to wear it for her own wedding or when you may want to renew vows. Even if you don't see any stains, have your dress cleaned. Body oils, clear sodas, and white icing might not leave a trace at first, but will develop into stains over time.

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